Scars

I stand at the mirror examining my own unflawed body.
Unscared and smooth wondering where are my memories?
I have no proof to solidify my damage.
Running my fingers along my bare wrists to feel no scratch,
no subtle altercation.
I must be mad–
–I have no proof of the damage done.

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Paralyzing Emotions

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Mentor/ Hierophant: IMG_1638The cat is a guide who is both cunning and wise. There are definite challenges ahead but be sure to use fundamental knowledge as a tool to overcome obstacles. Trust your innate wisdom when you draw the mentor. It may be tempting to just fall to status to avoid conflict; however, expressing your creative self will gain respect in your plans to move forward.


IMG_1639Judgment: Feelings of intense guilt in some way or some form may be coming forth. Don’t take responsibility for someone elses’ projection of unhappiness. Don’t allow others to project guilt onto you for their feelings of inadequacy. Remain objective in your conflict and trust your gut, not your feelings of guilt. Remain slow in decision making. Keep avoiding those hasty decisions.


Nine of Swords: Feelings of worry are also present. IMG_1640Without being consumed with fret take a look at what is triggering these bothering emotions. Why is this your reaction. What is the root? Don’t be haste when acting out this feeling. Instead reflect and ask yourself why you feel this way because of “x”. Don’t become so overwhelmed that you may become immobilized. Be logical. Trust that gut instinct of the mentor and acknowledge this internal nagging feeling.


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A lot of guilt, obstacles, and desire to just shut down because of times being tough. There is no good in falling suit alongside the nine of swords. You’ll only end up in a worse off situation than prior. Don’t allow yourself to spiral. Be logical, cunning, respectful and take action . Don’t worry about judgment from others and don’t be paralyzed by your overwhelming emotions. Take logical, realistic baby steps and handle yourself in order to #healthyself.

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Relapse

That overstuffed couch
where my thighs ran miles wide.
That room with windows for walls,
plastered with documents of self-satisfaction
and that damned scale.

The transparent cat
lurking in the far corner,
reflecting the tears of sad snow.

Every session, my eyes pounding the floor,
every session his eyes pounding into my cracked skull-
searching for answers– “I don’t know”

His smug face
making money off of the starving.
The disordered brains and skeleton girls
float into his office skating along ice,
leaving no shavings in their wake

1 in 10 will get better.
I am that one, I thought I was
until the burning in the back of my brain
began whispering lies to my eyes-
deceiving the perceptions of my gut
in the pool of the mirror.

I am Eve, but I am afraid of the ever expanding waist line
and see no beauty in the pool of my murky reflection.


FFYK5937

Carrot & Apple Oatmeal

IMG_1623Working at a daycare center, I have come across and fed a lot of infants various jars of baby food. There are some SUPER WEIRD concoctions of baby jar food; but, every now and then you come across a combination that tempts you to reach into that small jar of mush and try a mouthful of YUM! IMG_1615

Well carrot/ apple inspired me to make a warm bowl of oats that cater to Fall’s harvest. So, I give you …

Carrot & Apple Oatmeal!!! 🙂


Carrot & Apple Oatmeal: Serves 2

IMG_1618Ingredients:

  • 1 Cup of Oats
  • 1 Medium Gala Apple
  • 1 Medium Carrot
  • 1 tsp Cinnamon
  • 1 tsp Ground Cloves
  • 1/2 tsp of Vanilla Extract

Directions:IMG_1620

  1. Soak 1 cup of oats in 2 cups of water for 20 minutes
  2. Peel and shred 1 medium carrot
  3. Core and dice 1 medium Gala apple
    1. Set aside for the moment 🙂
  4. Cook Oats on medium heat for 10 minutesIMG_1624
  5. Add Vanilla Extract, Ground Cloves, and Cinnamon to soaking oats
  6. Cook and stir oats for another 2-3 minutes. It should be lightly bubbling
  7. Add shredded carrots and diced apples
  8. Reduce heat to low and cook for 5- 10 minutes until produce is tender.

    Serve and get creative with your toppings! May I suggest: Brown Sugar, Raw Honey, Chopped Walnuts.

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Enjoy your nourishment and #healthyself

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Downtown Gallery Crawl: From Historic Roots, Art Blooms

IMG_1693As a recent Pittsburgher, one of my biggest fears about moving here was not finding a community that I could fit in with. Simply speaking, I thought I’m a small, country girl moving to a big city by myself: “will there even be an opportunity to fit into a city scene?” I can’t speak for other cities, but as for Pittsburgh the answer will always be a loud and certain, “Yes!”


IMG_1656Pittsburgh nurtures a community scaling from professionals to artists. It’s small, but diverse enough that you never have to choose a night out at only one location. It would be very easy to dine the corners of IMG_1658Market Square and ponder over sparkling mists at Point Park all in one night. It’s a community offering social opportunities that are not only easily available to all, but are unlike anything I’ve ever witnessed. A perfect example of one of these social events is the most recent Gallery Crawl hosted in Downtown Pittsburgh on September 25th from 5:30-11:00pm.


Downtown transformed IMG_1653into a playground for adults of all ages, offering life size chess sets, various vendors, countless art exhibits, and wonderful, catchy soundtracks humming through the busy streets. What was wonderful to me, as a budgeting body, was money was not necessary to enjoy the festivities of the Gallery Crawl. The experience was priceless but ultimately fulfilling to a soul in need of inspiration.


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A definite crowd pleaser had to of been the India in Focus concert. The streets simply sparkled with the inspired spirits of many dancing and expressing the memorable beats pumping the airwaves. It was warming to witness such a diverse crowd coming together to appreciate a specific culture.


Other gallery hotspots included Hetain Patel’s “Eva” series and “Jump” video installation at the Wood Street Galleries, the “Plus One” contemporary technology exhibit showcasing the importance of textures and patterns to the Indian culture, and the Humanae/ I am August photo gallery showcasing the human color palettes.


IMG_1701IMG_1700It just goes to show us that art has no definite definition. It can be unorthodox, contemporary; contradicting at times, but always serves as a means to collect witness of its surrounding community. There is beauty in simple mundane tasks; such as, folding laundry. There is a need to recognize the differences of individuals, while still understanding that we make up a larger community. All that can be expressed in a collective series of snapshots showcasing our very own Pittsburgh public. At a time when we are beginning to welcome Fall into our streets, it was beautiful to be reminded of the seasons changing through the tapestry laser point illustration at the SPACE “Plus One” exhibit.

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Pittsburgh is a city you don’t want to fall asleep on, not when there are so many experiences to be had steps away from your neighborhood. There is history being made everywhere, even between the iconic landmarks that make this city so enchanting and inviting. Last night, I witnessed neighborhoods gathering at the Gallery Crawl for the name of art.

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take the time to commit to your community and #healthyself

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Black Bean Bowl

Being a vegan, means eating A LOT of beans. They are a nourishing staple to every wholesome diet. I’ve been recently trying to switch to buying bulk instead of canned beans 😳. What’s awesome is the shelf life, price, and pretty pantry you get from shopping bulk. What’s different for me is this new soaking process. It’s crucial to soak, rinse, and cook those beans. 🌟

About two days ago, I had some friends over for a homemade Indian dinner. I was thrilled to show off my new passion for the kitchen by cooking up some cuisine. I decided to soak some black beans and make a twist on vegetable curry. My friend who was going to bring lentil soup, forgot to soak her beans in time, an easy mistake when you switch to the dry, bulk foods. Those hours of soaking are so important but in this world where we want things immediately it’s easy to forget to prep this step. 

We ended up just featuring this warm black bean bowl, which was a Mexican twist on vegetable curry. A sure success for any dinner night 😊. #enjoy 

  
Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup black beans
  • 1 red bell pepper
  • 1 red onion
  • 2 jalapeño peppers 
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • 2 cups vegetable stock 
  • 1 cup brown rice
  • 1/2 cup frozen peas
  • 1/2 cup loosely packed cilantro
  • 1tsp cumin
  • 1 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper 
  • 1tbsp olive oil
  • 1/2 sliced avocado for garnish 

  
Directions:

Black Bean:

  1. Soak beans overnight
  2. Rinse in the morning
  3. Bring 1cup water and 1 cup of vegetable stock to s boil
  4. Add beans, reduce heat, and let simmer for one hour
  5. Once cooked, strain
  6. Add 1/2 the beans to a food processor and process until mashed (1minute)
  7. Put all the beans back in sauce pan and cook on low

Vegetable Cayenne 

  1. Heat 1tbsp olive oil 
  2. Add chopped garlic and chopped red onion
  3. Cook 2 minutes
  4. Add cumin and cayenne pepper and stir
  5. Add chopped jalapeño peppers and diced fire roasted red bell pepper
  6. Cook for 7 minutes or until tender
  7. Stir into finished black bean paste 

Rice:

  1. Bring 1 cup water 1 cup vegetable stock to a boil
  2. Add 1cup dry brown rice, lower heat to a simmer 
  3. Add 1/2 cup frozen peas 
  4. Let cook for 10 minutes.
  5.  Strain and stir in chopped cilantro

To plate: 

  1. Scoop a serving of fluffy rice
  2. Top with warm, spicy black bean and vegetable paste 
  3. Garnish with avocado slices

   
#healthyself